Advice Everyone Needs to Hear from a Polygamist

by David · 8 comments

Where My Story Started

Some time last year I fell in love with Spanish. We’ve spent an awful lot of time together and I’m incredibly attached. Seriously, there isn’t a place I go with out her – we might as well be attached at the hip. Fortunately, I don’t have any regrets – I can’t think of a better way to have spent my time.

I bumped into this Asian girl at the beginning of the year. Her name’s Japanese. There’s one word to describe her and that’s AMAZING. Seriously – she is. She’s a lot more complicated than Spanish, but she’s real polite. I think highly of people that go out of their way to show respect, and this Japanese girl has a lot of respect.

I’m in a tricky situation; I’m torn between Spanish and Japanese. Although Spanish isn’t as polite, the fact remains that she’s my first love, and I’m a real loyal person. However, I’ve been spending more and more time with Japanese and it’s making me feel guilty. I’ve been torn between the two over the last few months. And I’ve been frantically searching for a solution.

I thought perhaps I could try to get to know Japanese first through writing while Spanish and I worked on our verbal communication (we had some problems back in Spain.) Japanese has this interesting way of communicating on paper called Kanji. However, even though she’s interesting on paper, I need to speak with her, I need listen to her, sadly her writing isn’t enough. I’ve also tried to Spend time with Japanese and Spanish at the same time, but that’s not worked out so well.

Breaking point

I’ve got to spend more time with Japanese – I can’t resist. This can only happen if I cut down the time I spend with Spanish. I’ve thought about this for a while and it’s a tough decision. However, I’m telling myself it’s ok because I know Spanish pretty well. Call me cocky, but I know she can’t leave me; only I can leave her. I’m aware if I don’t speak or listen to her we’ll grow apart, and I’ll forget about the little things. The sort of things you can only come to know about a person by investing time. As you know, it’s the little things that really make a relationship work.

Advice Everyone Needs to Hear

Getting to know a person takes time. It’s not uncommon to want to spend all your time with a person you’re falling for. This works out to be great because in order to show a person you’re serious you generally have to pay them a lot of attention (at least initially), which is a cheap price to pay when you genuinely care.

However, trying to pay attention to two languages women in the “getting to know each other” stage is a crazy task. Women like a lot of attention and I can’t see how anyone with a life can give two women the attention they need/want in these initial stages with progress in mind.

You’ll mess it all up by forgetting minor details that make the two different.

If the two languages women are similar then you’re in for a real tough time and I wish you the best of luck. I’ve been trying for months and I’ve not had any luck successfully giving two women the attention they require to make real progress.

It’s important to pay attention to one.

However, once you get to know your first language woman you can get to know another.

Remember: You will never understand your woman a hundred percent; she’ll always say things you don’t understand. This is perfectly fine. This still happens when my mother English speaks to me.

If you’re an aspiring polygamist then the best advice I can give is this: When you’re getting to know a woman give her as much attention as possible.

You can maintain a few women easily, but you can’t get to know a woman well if you’re trying to get to know another.

Focus on one language. Get to know the language. Then move onto more languages.

I hope my story has been helpful.


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  • Anonymous

    This advice was well timed for me.  I’ve been concentrating very heavily on Korean lately, but keep getting the urge to start back in on Spanish again (which I’ve been keeping on the back burner since, as you noted, learning two languages from a fairly low level at the same time isn’t very efficient) and also keep being tempted to feed in some other languages (mostly Japanese though I’ve pondered a few others).  However, this post reminded me that the best way to learn these languages is to get my Korean to as high a level as I can first, then start with serious effort in another language when Korean is in mostly maintenance mode.  My Korean is far better than it was last time I was multitasking it with Spanish, but it’s still nowhere near high enough for me to stop giving it constant attention.

    • Thanks for sharing your story and I’m glad you found the post useful. 

      Thanks for stopping by. 

  • Hi David!  I just skimmed, but I’m mostly saying a general hello.  Have listened to 3 of the Polyglot podcasts and enjoyed them.  I found the ‘cast and you through some posts on the HTLAL forum.  I love how your English sounds, by the way.  I’m American, though, and it seems typical that we like your accents.

    I also like in this post that you were discussing Spanish and Japanese.  Spanish is my first foreign language, and Japanese is the one I’m working on now.  It’s nice to find another person with the same combination.

    So will probably be seeing you around the usual circles.  Nice to “meet” you. 🙂

    • Hey, thanks the comment. That’s what’s great about the internet –  meeting people with similar interests. I’m sure we’ll bump into each other again. Please don’t hesitate to share your opinions 😉 

  • I loved this article. It’s really funny and original, not a rehash of stupid tips that don’t even work. 🙂

  • Completely light-hearted and spot on about considering what to do with the language that starts to call your name. Hilarious and fun. Thanks! French, which could be my fifth language, is starting to call my name; when do I turn my head and look?! 🙂

    • I’m glad you liked. I received a few e-mails from readers telling this post is offensive :s
      Can’t please them all!

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